Born again mystified organized

For several years now, I’ve been trying to get my life beyond a somewhat orderly clump, to create a highly efficient, lean mean organizational machine. When I’m not being pulled here and there by the forces of family and the universe, there actually has been some progress getting mundane stuff (chores, house projects ) checked off my list – some have been copied and recopied onto to-do lists for years.(!)

All this a good thing, with good goals: be a nurturing father, supportive husband, and become a joyful artistic success – while unlocking the mystical keys to existence, and producing the unbounded elixir of creative life-force, thus healing all ills of humanity.

The rub thereby lies in balancing the family life with the ideals I’ve set before me. At this stage, I’d be happy without the unlocking and producing, and just “become a joyful artistic success.” And now is the critical time … my life will from here on actually depend upon it.

I have a hard row to hoe before me, and patience, support, and energy aren’t improving, unfortunately. But none of that can matter now.

“My sketch group” seems to have fizzled to a ZERO interest proposition (after 2 fun, productive meet ups), which is very disappointing. Just move on and keep up my contacts with the 2 new artist buddies who still return my calls.

Then there’s the home life where things are definitely frazzled to Koyaanisqatsi. It’s near impossible to find the balance on a routine basis to manage a family with 4 people running around, work part-time, re-re-re-re design my website (yes, that time again), focus on a new career … and have time for relaxing/reCreative outlets. Which are mere amusements, and which is valuable time spent?

I have yet to find anyone out in space – cyber or otherwise – who has dealt with anything similar. Usual creative pundits-with-family, were smart enough to start their career first, and find their focus early on. I’m still struggling, and complaining about it for a year now on this blog …

So, what to do? Risk & hope for luck … the true foundations of the american capitalist dream. Working & learning … I guess I still need more of it, plus some real time management to squeeze the creative juices out of each day.

My work contract ending in September is compounded with the sobering prospect that future times will require me to earn considerably more, to support our fancy suburban lifestyle. I vote “pitch it all and move to the country” … but it’s not just me making that decision.

Council before active operation. But I’ve got no one to discuss this with, and I definitely need a new captain for my brain-ship, coz this one’s drunk at the wheel.

It’s just hard to move forward, when the earth and heavens are shaking so much.

Keep tuning in, because I’ll keep trying to record my artistic progress, and share the notions which keep me going in heart, art, mind, and body.

” What can I do
we just live in a zoo
all I do is play
the spaceball ricochet … oh mama, the spaceball ricochet … oh baby, the spaceball ricochet … ” – T Rex