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Yuck April 21, 2006

Posted by whatacharacter in humor, just my blogs.
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An evil scientist hatched a most evil plan to conquer the world. His army of intelligent, highly trained, laser-strapped porpoises would never be defeated. Fed a special diet of specially prepared enzyme- laden seagull spleen, his genetically altered dolphins became somehow invulnerable and could not be killed in battle. The mad doctor’s plans were set, and all systems were go … until one day he ran out of seagull spleen!

The scientist hurridly set out from his secret laboratory, and headed down the coast where he had not yet depopulated the beaches of seagulls. Time was running out and all he could find were some immature birds, barely a year old. They’d have to do, so with satchels stuffed full of as many birds as he could carry, he rushed back to his lab … only to encounter two lions stretched across the roadway, fast asleep.

Taking care not to wake the lions, or startle the birds he carried, the villian crept painfully slowly up to them. Aware that just one faint sound might result in his being clawed and mauled to death, he silently and as carefully as he could, tip-toed over the sleeping beasts … whereupon he was immediately grabbed on either side, and hand cuffs slapped on his wrists faster than a blink of an eye.

“You’re under arrest!” declared the local constabulary.

“You can’t arrest me! I’ve done nothing wrong! What are the charges!!” retorted the evil scientist.

“Quite simply sir” replied the arresting officer, “You’re being arrested, for violation of penal code 47-9831, which is …

Transporting underage gulls, across sedate lions, for immortal porpoises.”

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Comments»

1. Jackie - April 24, 2006

Groooan…you been watching a Marx Bros. film-fest or something?

2. whatacharacter - April 27, 2006

Nope just my favorite jokes, for lack of any substance to record.
They’re actually more fun to tell in person than to read. This one is particularly hard … I usually get to the punch line and stall while looking vacantly up searching for the correct sequence. This of course ruins it, but practice, practice, practice!


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